Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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