I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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