tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
North Korea, Best Korea!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
