You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
