Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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