Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
