Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
