we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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