I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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