do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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