He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
