Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
