do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What a dumb baby whore.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
