I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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