Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
