Soap is not a condiment
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
