I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
