But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
