my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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