That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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