have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
