is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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