go do what you do best...puke behind churches
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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