Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
no, he came in my armpit
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
