In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
