I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
