sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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