I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
