Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
