heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
