Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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