smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
