I want to make a zoo with you.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
