just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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