I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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