stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
