oh god the rape fog is back!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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