Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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