piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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