Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
