Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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