ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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