why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
