Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
