She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
