Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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