okay pat passed out under dana's car
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
