Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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