3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
