We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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