I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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