Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
